Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
