he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize