you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
