I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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