dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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