I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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