Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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