Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
