I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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