ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
