everyone is single if you try hard enough
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
