so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
