Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just found puke in my bra..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
