redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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