But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
