This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
