Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
