Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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