so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
