She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
