How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
