i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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