I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
