I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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