she looked like the bat from fern gully.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
