piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
