i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
