just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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