there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
