It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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