She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
