I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
