i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
