they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
