I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
