I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
