Only a mothe r could love this liver
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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