just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
