she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
