my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Randomize
