We named our party play list daddy issues
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
sex in a hospital.. check
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
