video games are the ultimate cock blocker
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize