My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
