Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
