You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
