its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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