I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
