You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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