I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
