...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize