Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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