We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
