you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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