She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
