can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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