he puts the penis in happiness.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
