Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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