saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
