): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
