Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
