I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
