Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
All the doctor said was why
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
